Starting over

What a time to be alive.

For those of you that have been following me for a while, you know that I’ve always strived to be a “cup half full”, look on the brighter side, see the good in everyone kind of person, but even I have my tough days…and today is definitely one of them.

As I sit here writing this post, not knowing who will read it since I’ve been on a long hiatus from my digital footprint while I was living my life building my dreams and businesses, I realize no one has been exempt from hardships and challenges especially after these last two years of this global pandemic.

In some way, shape, or form we are all starting over. Whether it be with a new job, a new relationship or in my case a new single life, a new lease on life, or wherever you find a sense of having to begin again it’s all relative, and it can all be scary asf.

As I sit here writing this post I’m currently sick in bed with covid for the 3rd time, after just having spent the last two days driving back to Dallas from Los Angeles, and have just about lost my mind. No joke.

After being completely blindsided at the beginning of May when I received a message from some random broad based in Dubai informing me that my significant other had been cheating on me since the end of December, which needless to say abruptly ended my 3.5 year relationship with someone who also has been my business partner in two startups during these last challenging years, so you can use your imagination as to how that might send a woman completely spinning out of control for so many reasons.

Hence, here we are starting over, and it is not easy. Especially when you still have to be responsible to partners and investors, it’s not like you can just say screw you and walk away. Going through a break up always sucks, but going through on that just drags on while trying to remain creative and productive in your role is next to impossible.

The only thing you can really do, or so I’m finding, is to just give yourself the permission to take a leave of absence and take care of your mental and emotional health. You have to give yourself the space to get messy. Cry, scream into a pillow, exercise until you can’t, take up a boxing class, go see an energy healer, do anything to get the angst, frustrations, anxiety, and all those negative swells of emotion out of you. Otherwise if you just self isolate and close yourself off in a dark room and cry feeling sorry for yourself you’re only going to prolong the inevitable, which is you’re going to have to get up and pull yourself together sooner or later so why not let it be on your terms.

Give yourself the permission to take a step back from yourself, from your work, from your family, from your ex, from whoever and whatever doesn’t serve you in this trying time. Be gentle and kind with yourself, don’t judge your emotional response. DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF (I’ve really been struggling with this one). Let this time be truly for you. You don’t have to fix yourself to make others comfortable. You don’t have to put on a happy face, you don’t have to pretend like things are ok when they aren’t.

We’ve been trained to shrink our human experience for the sake of making others comfortable so much so that we are now living in a world that no longer makes any sense, and is so hyper sensitive that if you sneeze the wrong way people get offended. Fuck em.

Seriously, let this time of adversity be your catalyst for changing your direction, and growing into your greatest self. This time you’re not starting over with nothing, you’re starting over from years of experience, and that can be powerful.

Know you’re not alone in whatever you’re dealing with, and if you need someone to talk to, I got you. Leave a comment, and I’ll respond. Send me an email, and if all you need is someone to hear you out I won’t say a thing, because I know sometimes all we need is to feel heard.

At the end of the day, we are only human, and starting over is just part of the cycles of life and our seasons. So here’s to you, here’s to me, and here’s to us moving forward and onward. Again 🙄

With Love & Light,

Des

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