Desiree Medellin

Rebuilding from Within: The Power of Self-Forgiveness in Business and Life

As women in business, we often hold ourselves to impossibly high standards. We navigate leadership, entrepreneurship, and personal responsibilities with a determination that can sometimes feel like an uphill battle. But what happens when we fall short, or when life inevitably and unexpectedly hits you when you least expect it and leaves you so broken-hearted that it throws you completely off your game?

My last break-up which I briefly talked about in one of my past blog posts titled “Starting Over,” touches on how broken and distraught I was at that time. What I didn’t know then was that it would take me almost two years to fully recover emotionally, physically, financially, and professionally. Too often, we allow guilt, shame, and self-doubt to take residence in our minds, shaping how we see ourselves and our capabilities. The truth is, self-forgiveness is not just a personal necessity—it can be a business strategy. If we are to grow, lead, and thrive, we must learn how to release the weight of self-judgment and rebuild from within.

Understanding the Weight of Guilt & Self-Doubt

According to a study by the National Bureau of Economic Research, self-doubt and impostor syndrome disproportionately affect women in leadership, with 75% of female executives reporting moments of feeling inadequate despite their success. Renowned researcher Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading expert on self-compassion, emphasizes that “self-forgiveness is not about letting yourself off the hook—it’s about learning and growing from the experience.”

I personally and wholeheartedly believe guilt and self-doubt are two of the biggest mental roadblocks women in business face as corporate culture and American society tells us to hold your head up, stay strong, keep calm, just smile, etc., which only teaches us to push our emotions down and ignore our inner needs.

• Guilt tells us we are not doing enough, that we should be working harder, giving more, being better. It shows up when we set boundaries, take a day off, or prioritize our well-being.
• Self-doubt whispers that we are not qualified, not deserving, not “good enough.” It convinces us to play small, question our instincts, and hesitate in moments that require confidence.

These emotions are valid, but they are not truths. If left unchecked, they can drain our energy, impact decision-making, and keep us from pursuing opportunities that align with our true potential.

The Cost of Carrying Guilt & Self-Doubt

In business, the inability to forgive ourselves for past mistakes or perceived shortcomings can lead to:

• Paralysis in Decision-Making: Overanalyzing and second-guessing every move due to fear of making another mistake.
• Burnout & Mental Fatigue: Carrying emotional baggage makes it harder to focus, innovate, and lead with clarity.
• Avoidance of Risk & Growth: Playing small out of fear of failing again keeps us from seizing new opportunities.
• Strained Relationships: Whether with employees, clients, or partners, self-criticism often leads to overcompensating, micromanaging, or withdrawing altogether.

Recognizing these effects is the first step toward reclaiming control over your mental and emotional well-being.

Self-Forgiveness as a Growth Strategy

During my journey of rebuilding, I remember a moment when I had the opportunity to take on a leadership role but hesitated due to fear of repeating past mistakes. The self-doubt nearly held me back, but I reminded myself that failure is not an endpoint—it’s a lesson. When I finally stepped into the role, I not only excelled but also helped mentor other women who faced similar struggles. That experience reinforced the power of releasing guilt and trusting in personal growth.

What I’ve learned about forgiving yourself is that it isn’t about excusing mistakes—it’s about holding space for yourself and learning, evolving, and moving forward with wisdom and most importantly self-love. Loving the sensitive little girl who taught you to dream, the young woman who taught you about bouncing back and loving like you’ve never been hurt, and most of all loving the woman you are and strive to be every day you have the courage to get up and honor each and every day. Here’s how you can start:

1. Reframe Failure as Feedback
   • Every mistake, setback, or misstep is a learning opportunity. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, ask: What did this experience teach me? How can I use this lesson moving forward?
2. Acknowledge, Don’t Suppress
   • Suppressing guilt and doubt only gives them power. Instead, acknowledge them without judgment. Write down your thoughts, talk to a mentor, or reflect on what’s truly at the root of these feelings.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
   • Treat yourself as you would a close friend. Would you berate a friend for making a mistake, or would you offer encouragement? Extend that same grace to yourself.
4. Detach Your Worth from Productivity
   • You are more than your achievements. Your value does not decrease because of a bad quarter, a missed opportunity, or a difficult decision. Recognize your worth beyond external validation.
5. Create a Habit of Positive Affirmation
   • Counteract self-doubt by affirming your strengths. Start each day with a statement like: I am capable. I am learning. I trust myself to make the best decisions for my business and life.
6. Seek Guidance, Not Isolation
   • Surround yourself with mentors, coaches, or peers who uplift and remind you of your strengths. Sometimes, an outside perspective is all it takes to shift self-perception.

Moving Forward with Confidence

Rebuilding from within requires patience. I wasn’t lying when I said it took me two years to return to self. I had no choice but to let myself fall completely apart and rebuild everything I had worked so hard to create—only this time, I had the experience to do it better. I encourage you to change your hair or wardrobe if you have the urge to—it helps shift your energetic field. Explore seeing an energy healer, or try doing things you wouldn’t normally do by yourself. Self-forgiveness is an ongoing practice, not a one-time decision. But the more we embrace it, the more freedom we create—to take risks, to lead with clarity, and to show up fully in our businesses and lives.

Let this be your reminder: You are not your mistakes. You are your resilience, your ability to grow, and your commitment to moving forward with courage and grace. I invite you to take a moment today to reflect on your own journey. What lessons have you learned from past mistakes that helped shape who you are today? If you’re comfortable, share your thoughts or a small step you’re taking toward self-forgiveness. Whether in the comments, a personal journal, or even in a conversation with a trusted friend—owning your growth is a powerful act of self-love. You are your resilience, your ability to grow, and your commitment to moving forward with courage and grace.

What’s one step you can take today toward self-forgiveness? Share your thoughts in the comments below—I’d love to hear how you’re working to rebuild from within.